Even in the Chaos

Lord,  I’ve been thinking about everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks.  At one point I had both of my daughters in the hospital at the same time, and as I began to list off all the things in my brain that have happened just in the last two weeks, I started to really feel like Paul, bragging about all my afflictions to boast about my weakness.  I know I’ve been talking to people a lot about my weakness lately, and all the joy you’ve given me, but God, I’m feeling the pressure, too. I’m feeling the weight of it all. My heart breaks to look at my girls and all the suffering they have endured just in the last two weeks.  And I hate the enemy for what he has tried to do to our family! And here I am, boasting about all this trouble!

But whatever anyone else dares to boast of—I am speaking as a fool—I also dare to boast of that. 22 Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they offspring of Abraham? So am I. 23 Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one—I am talking like a madman—with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. 24 Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; 27 in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. 28 And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. 29 Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant?
2 Corinthians 11: 21-28

I understand why you’ve let this happen.  You have shown us so much grace and blessed us beyond measure through it all.  Money, friendship, joy, peace, security, you’ve given it all! Every time I tried to fall into sorrow, you would bring your peace.  When the desire to wallow in self-pity wanted to erupt from every pore of my body, you brought your joy. Miracles were happening, Jesus.  So many miracles in my flesh, there are too many to count, as time and time again your faithfulness endured when my heart faltered.

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
Galatians 5:23-25

Yet, here I am Lord.  I’m struggling. I’m irritable.  I’m tired. And I find myself asking: where’s the miracle in my flesh right now?  And I realize I haven’t had solid time in the Word over the last two weeks. I’ve managed a few minutes everyday, but I’m used to a few hours.  I’m used to solid, deep, meditative time. That first night in the ER I had hours and hours of reading the Psalms. It sustained me in the pit of Hell that the enemy wanted me to see with all of the human suffering happening all around me.  We were in a “bed” in a hallway next to a delirious homeless man, and in the bed beyond him, another man just like him. But your Word sustained us. I read it aloud. I prayed aloud. I prayed with those men. I brought them water. I held their hands and prayed for them.  I shared your love and your promises, as my suffering daughter, between bouts of her own suffering, did the same! Because your Word sustained us and comforted us. And most importantly, it empowered us. That ER became our mission field.

I’ve missed your Word, God!  The distractions have seduced me away from you and I’m struggling without it.  The reading of your Word is a luxury whose denial has hurt me worse than the any of the other trials I’ve had to deal with.  And it amazes me that so many of your kids struggle to give you five minutes a day. Don’t they know that Jesus is the Word made flesh?  That his flesh made words is your scripture? That your promises, your love, your glory are all revealed in the Word? They are content with milk, not even ready for anything else, because they are caught up in the desires and demands of their flesh alone.

But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready,3 for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?
1 Corinthians 3:1-3

And people think that a few sips of “milk” on a Sunday morning offered by some summary of someone else’s meditations on you is enough to nourish them?  No wonder they’re still babies! No wonder they fall into despair over such minor things! You’ve seen all the well intentioned people asking us how we’re doing.  You’ve seen the curiosity on their faces when we showed your strength, your joy, your peace! And now I know why they don’t understand. They’ve never experienced it before, God!  These babies in the faith, drinking sips of milk once or twice a week, proud of how many times they’ve walked through the doors of the church in seven days time, and never once finding the rest of your Sabbath.  Never once have they found the joy of your salvation. They work in the spirit of their own flesh, and fight battles with foam swords and paper shields.

I choose your sword, God.  The sword of the Spirit that is the Word of God.  I choose your shield. The shield of faith that extinguishes all the flaming darts of the evil one.  

16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.
Ephesians 6:16-20

God, I am your righteousness, made by the blood of Jesus.  

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
2 Corinthians 5:21

I will walk in that truth and in that promise.  Though I float adrift a night and a day at sea, I will boast again and again in your power and strength and joy revealed in me.  I will sound like a fool and boast in my weakness and boast in my suffering, and boast in my many, many struggles, Lord.

Because in my weakness you are strong.  

Lord Jesus, show the world the power of your promises through my suffering.  Show them what your peace looks like through me. I am so jealous for my time with you, God, and even this morning, I’ve had a million interruptions.  Just now, writing about interruptions I was interrupted five times. Hashtag momlife. But God, I’m not going to stop. I’m not going to let this be another shipwreck if I can’t boast about it to the world and show them your power made perfect even in my interruptions.  I choose you, God. I choose your peace. Even in the chaos.

 

Boasting in Weakness

I am so weak, God.  My life is in a constant state of turmoil.  My babies are beaten against the rocks. My heart breaks.  My world is shaken. And yet the audacity of your love is to pour out strength, pour out peace, and pour out love.  It makes no sense in human standards. It makes no sense to me. I can’t even begin to explain the logic behind it. I’ve read it and quoted it in your Word a thousand times.  I’ve bragged on your power! I’ve bragged on my weakness. But you still keep showing me more and more and more. The weaker I get, the harder things get, the deeper the struggles I must endure, the stronger my peace, my joy, and my love because of you.

For when I am weak, then I am strong

 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Certainly if I tried to explain it, I would fail.  People would laugh and call me a fool if they didn’t see it with their own eyes.  If they hadn’t watched it all play out in front of them, they would never have understood it.  hey would think I am strong. They would think I was great. Because they can’t see my heart and my struggle and my peace, except by the work of my hands that you have blessed.  Your light shines through the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. That describes my experience. That embodies my joy.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:5

Your light shines.  Your peace rules. Your power abounds in my weakness.

So, here I am boasting in weakness, because:  WOW! Your power really is made perfect in weakness.  I have seen it first hand. And I have felt the joy and peace that have come from your Spirit.  It makes no sense, but it has happened. Why would I ever want to be anything else but weak? The power of God is beyond joy and love and peace.  It is the perfect testimony of God’s Spirit within me. It has built my faith in ways I could never have dreamed of. It has created deeper bonds of love and insight and connection between us, God!  I want more! Let the world see my weakness, Jesus. Let the world see how mighty you are to save!

The Glory of the Lord

Beloved, how wonderful You are!  How great are your works! I continue to marvel at your incredible mercy and love, especially as we labor through trials.  Through it all you have revealed your glory!

“And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
 and all flesh shall see it together,
 or the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”
Isaiah 40:5

I’m still in awe of what you have been doing and how you have revealed the mystery of your love and grace through this hardship we’ve been under.  It’s hard to even imagine that amidst my grief and suffering, your love was actually being revealed! It is undeniable! Everyone who saw it experienced your love.

Not only did I recieve your comfort, encouragement and peace, you expressed those profound gifts to everyone I came in contact with.  And all I can say is wow. The strength and endurance you gave never ceases.

Days later, still in turmoil, still in the midst of suffering, your power continues to manifest in me and around me and through me.  And through it all my faith has grown stronger and more solid. That is who you are, God. You are everlasting. You are powerful. You give strength to the weary and you multiply it!

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
    and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

Thank you, God, for strengthening me, for teaching me your abundant love, and for enduring with me when I felt so tossed by the waves.  With a word you spoke my world into stillness and peace. And with all my words I want to praise you!

 

From Strength to Strength

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10

God, it’s been a rough week, but you have “upheld me with your righteous right hand”. It’s true, every moment felt worse than the last. The onslaught of the enemy was vicious. It was cruel. It was painful. It seemed to go on forever. Yet through it all, you were there. Your enduring and steadfast love was a triumphant sound that shook the heavens. Your banner over me was love, and your peace washed over me time and time again.  

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Romans 5:1-5

For a long time I’ve known that suffering produces endurance, then character, then hope, but God I really never had a grasp on how it could possibly make me happy, or how I could “rejoice in my suffering”.  Sure, I knew that I should rejoice, but actual rejoicing was a real struggling. I don’t like hurting. I don’t like suffering. I’m not a masochist! Why on earth would I want to suffer?! But I couldn’t reconcile that with how Jesus suffered, or how he willingly went to the cross, allowed himself to be tortured and mocked, and then murdered.  I knew it was because of love, but I couldn’t figure out the joy part. There’s joy in the resurrection, not the suffering, right?

Wrong.

There is joy in both.  One leads to the other.  

 “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;
    I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”
Isaiah 48:10

It all hit me this week.  It hit me so hard, it would have knocked me down if I hadn’t been held up by your righteous right hand.  This furnace of affliction was no different than the literal furnace of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednigo. It was terrifying, but you stood with them, and you stand with me.  Through it all you were there, and you are here now. Amidst all this incredible trial, suffering, and pain, I watched the springs of living water burst forth out of the desert.  Every time I’d falter, you’d raise me up again. Your strength would fill me. Your endurance sustained me. Your joy sprang forth! Your love permeated my steps, and all around me people were blessed.  The peace and strength and joy you gave me to endure, blessed everyone who witnessed it! Everyone! And that brought so much joy.

I remember collapsing onto my bed after so many hours with my daughter in the hospital, and the people who came around me to be with her so I could go home and sleep.  Instead of sorrow, I was filled with joy. You provided and sustained me. And you provided peace and rest. I fell asleep speaking your praises. Your presence filled my vision and my heart.  Your love endured. And as the days went on, and I traveled back and forth to the hospital day after day, you continued to provide: not just for me, but for everyone around us. And you’re doing it still.  Your strength refreshes daily within me.

And so I will go from strength to strength, trusting in your provision of steadfast love, and the strength you provide.  I will rejoice and be glad, because your strength always renews.  And that strength brings rivers of living water to everyone who sees it.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
6 As they go through the Valley of Baca
    they make it a place of springs;
    the early rain also covers it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength;
    each one appears before God in Zion.
Psalms 84:5-7

 

Walking Out of the Garden

Jesus, like Peter I want to follow you anywhere, even unto death.  I want to pray with you in the garden of Gethsemane and hold you while you cry out to God, and guard you while you worship, and sing praises with you in trial.  But, I fall asleep. I run away naked. I deny you. I weep and mourn and anguish. You said it yourself,

“The spirit is willing but the body is weak.”

I’m daily assailed by the torment of the world, but you are faithful, Jesus.  You overcame the weakness of your body even unto death. And because of you, because of what you did on the cross, and because you left the tomb behind you, I am free.  You had victory over sin and death. And that means you have defeated the very things that hold me hostage.

I refuse to continue to look at the past.  I refuse to hate myself for falling short of your glory.  I refuse to think differently of myself than you see me. I refuse to fall asleep or runaway naked.  Because you are God, and your Spirit is in me. It empowers me to act in accordance with your Spirit instead of in my flesh.  The spirit is willing. My body is weak. So I want to look to your example. You showed me what obedience in the Spirit looks like.

In Gethsemane you prayed.  Even though your friends fell asleep, you prayed.  You cried out to God. Even though you were alone. You worshiped Him.  You sought Him with your whole heart and your whole mind. You sweat drops of blood, your anguish was so intense!  You agonized over the road of suffering that awaited you on your journey to the cross. But you took it anyway. It wasn’t what you wanted in your body, you didn’t want pain and suffering and humiliation.  But you wanted victory. And you knew God’s will for you and for me was victory. You knew that God’s will was better than your flesh. You knew that your flesh would be remade. You knew that your victory, though it would come at a hefty price in your flesh, would bring life forever to us all.

So you walked out of Gethsemane.  You willingly took the road of suffering.  The road of blood. The road of pain and scorn.  

You took the cross.

Lord, help me walk out of the garden.  As you walk with me on the road of suffering, bring people around me to offer me a drink, to help carry my cross, to stand at my side, amidst their own pain, to be with me and show me love, as you love me.  And Lord, let me do the same for others.

“12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 3:12-14

 

The Struggle is Real

I am struggling, God.  I feel like I’m drowning.  Nothing brings me any solace.  My heart is so heavy with sorrow.  I read the Psalms and I still feel empty.  My moaning is hollow.  The truth that I know isn’t bringing any comfort.  I know you are there and yet I am in such pain.  The world taunts me.  It laughs.  It mocks.  It takes its shots against me.  And I find myself just submitting to it.  I know that’s not what I’m supposed to do.  I know that doesn’t help me.  It just leads to more sadness.  A real struggle.  A vicious circle of torment whips around my thoughts, my heart, my mind.

I’ve hidden your word in my heart, God.  It’s not helping.

I’m pouring over your word: meditating on it day and night.  It’s not helping.

I call out to you and you answer.  It’s not helping.

I blare worship music.  I sing.  I ponder.  It’s not helping.

Where am I falling short?

But the struggle is real, God.  It hurts.  And to think that I don’t even really know what real struggle is.  I don’t know real persecution.  I don’t know real suffering.  And yet here I am pouring out my tears and anguish to you.  I guess my hope in you to hear me is enough.  Collecting tears in a bottle.  Writing volumes and volumes of my struggles turning into faith.

I know this is all the enemy attacking me and trying to steal my joy.  But I’m so tired of fighting.  I’m so bloody tired.  Can you give me some new mercy?  Can you give me more faith.  Can you give me something?

“Because of the Lord’s great love for us, we will not be consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23

 

Tears in a Bottle

“You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in a bottle,
Are they not in your books?”
Psalm 56:8

God, I feel like I’m walking through mud.  I’m stuck in all this struggle and I’m overwhelmed and frustrated and sad.  It’s so hard to pick up my feet and take another step. I know you are with me.  I know you care for me. I know I can cast my burdens upon you and be sustained by you, but I’m struggling.  The attack from the enemy is so strong. It is relentless. It is consuming. It’s hard, God.

“My heart is in anguish within me;
    the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
5 Fear and trembling come upon me,
    and horror overwhelms me.”
Psalm 55:4-5

In the onslaught I struggle to hear you.  In the tumult my heart is aching. My eyes are blinded by tears and anger and futility.  I wallow in it. I don’t know why I do, but my heart truly is in anguish within me. I can’t turn around without hearing the taunts of the enemy.  My fear holds me hostage. My anguish paralyzes me.

“But I call to God,
    and the Lord will save me.
17 Evening and morning and at noon
    I utter my complaint and moan,
    and he hears my voice.
18 He redeems my soul in safety
    from the battle that I wage,
    for many are arrayed against me.”
Psalm 55:16-18

You hear me, God, when I call out to you.  You hear me and save me. You long for me to be in peace with you and in my life.  You bring the Prince of Peace to my heart and to my mind. My head rests in your lap and I am comforted.  I am covered by your love and your mercy. You will save me. You have saved me. I am yours. I am saved from the wrath of my own condemnation.  I am saved from the fear of my own failings and doubt. I am free from the lords that once ruled me and molested my heart. I can have peace in your arms.  I can rest in your love.

   “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
    This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
    let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”
Isaiah 25:9

 

God is Faithful

“Why do the nations rage and the people plot in vain?”
Psalm 2:1

 

God, I just don’t get it.  Why are people so stubborn?  Why do they insist on following false gods and false pleasure and false life that leads to death?  Why do I do these things? Why am I so disobedient?

15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good.
17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.
19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.
22 I love God’s law with all my heart.
23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.
24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?
25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Romans 7:15-25

I know the answers, God.  Just like Paul knew the answers.  So, yet again I give it to you. I’ll try to trust you and be thankful for your grace.  I will praise you because your love is bigger than mine. Your forgiveness is bigger than mine.  You forgive me even though I struggle to forgive myself. I want to find rest and peace in it, God.  In your grace, I want to find rest. Help me, God. Help my disbelief. Help me to find rest and peace.  Help me obey you. Help me know that following you brings life.

So why do the nations rage and the people plot in vain?  Because we can’t seem to help ourselves, no matter how hard we try. So, thank you that your love is bigger and your mercy is bigger, and your forgiveness is bigger, and your heart is bigger, and your life is bigger.  Thank you.  Thank you that your love endures forever and that your faithfulness is true.

“if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.”
2 Timothy 2:13

Jesus is the Victory!

Lord Jesus, you are my hero and my biggest cheerleader!  This morning, after dreams filled with evil attacks of the enemy in undaunted wrath, I heard you declare, “Watch Daisy plough right through them!”  I held onto that joyful proclamation, Jesus!  And I want to hold onto it forever!  You have given me power over my enemies!  Thank you!  

“I myself have commanded my consecrated ones, and have summoned my mighty men to execute my anger, my proudly exulting ones.”
Isaiah 13:3

You have consecrated me by your blood.  You have made me and you have blessed me and you have given me your Spirit so that I could overcome my enemies.  You’ve already brought ruin upon them, God!  You have given me victory over sin and death through Jesus!  When he cried out, “It is finished!” it was a cry of victory.  No more slavery.  No more bondage.  No more death.  Our lives have been saved!  My life has been saved!  Sin has no more power over me.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
1 Corinthians 15:57

I can plough right through my enemies!  You have given me that power!  Your anger is great against your enemies, the Adversary and his minions, and the torment they inflict upon your people.  So, you stretched out your hand from Heaven, and offered deliverance for the people.  Deliverance from our torment.  Deliverance from our fear.  I can walk in confidence as a bulldozing tank of your glory because you’ve given me that gift.  

You are cheering me on, empowering me through your Spirit, to have victory over my enemies over and over and over again.  You defeated our enemies on the cross.  You are victorious.  So, I put my trust in you, God.  I put my hope in your enduring love and faithfulness, because that is who you say you are.  

I will open my heart to your voice because it is a battle cry of victory.  You are a banner of love and righteousness over my head.  You are a my shelter and my comfort.  I can trust you and I can fight and win because of you.  It’s all about you, Jesus!  

“And now my head shall be lifted up,
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.”
Psalm 27:6

 

Not by Power, Not by Might, but by the Spirit!

Lord, you are so pleased to reveal your wisdom to your children!  What an honor and privilege to have the mind of God imparted within me to know your heart and your plans for me!  So often I struggle and stumble around, blind to your wisdom, deaf to your voice.  You hold my hand and yet I still stray, wobbling around from side to side, straying this way and that.  I trip over rubble and cry and you kiss away my tears and bandage my bruised and bloodied knees.  And your thoughts remain within me.   In the book of James you show me why I’m always stumbling and falling away from you.  I get doubtful.  I lose faith.

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

James 1:5-6

So, God, I’m asking for wisdom.  I’m asking for faith.  I’m asking you to remove the blinders that I’ve put over my own eyes.  Remove the deafening roar of worldly longings and fears.  Let me receive the generous and loving gift of your ample wisdom, freely offered.  Let me take that wisdom with us much freedom as you offer it!  I’m tired of trusting myself!  No matter how smart I think I am, my wisdom is pure folly without the importation of Your thoughts and heart!  I want to trust you!  I don’t want to lean on my own ideas.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I want to walk with confidence along a straight path, with my fingers interlaced with yours, and my head held high with the pride that comes from standing with you in the righteousness you have made me.  I want to walk in laughter, listening to your voice and seeing all the beautiful sites you have laid out before us.  It’s not just a straight path, it’s a beautiful path.  So, God, I’m asking you to renew my mind.  Take away my focus on the world and the death that it brings to everything, and focus my whole being on You and the life that you offer!

9 But, as it is written,
“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him”—

10 these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. 13 And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual.

14 The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. 15 The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. 16 “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:9-13

Thank you, God, that all this has been made possible to understand and digest because of your Spirit in me.  Only your Spirit knows your heart.  And you have given me your Spirit so that I can freely know the deepest thoughts you have about me and about the world around me.  I can see what you intended with eyes that are no longer blinded by sin.  I can see the incorruptible!  I can see life as you always intended and hoped.  

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.

1 John 4:13

It’s so crazy to me God!  You’ve given me eyes to see the world as you see it!  To see the life you intended in all things.  Satan is such a liar!  He convinced Adam and Eve, the stewards of your creation, that they would be like you by receiving the “knowledge of good and evil”.  But evil is not from you and its only job is to bring death and pain!  To know you is to be brought back to the Garden in the Spirit, where we can walk with you and talk with you about the wisdom and beauty and light of all the things you have made.  All good things.  All life giving things.  I no longer need to be ruled by the knowledge of evil.  It will only bring death.  While you are the bringer of life.  

Thank you for being the Life Bringer, the Life Creator, the Light of the World,  and thank you for being my friend.  I love you, God.  I love you so much!