And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. 25 For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? Luke 9:23-25
Father, the cost of following You is great. It’s so great that most of the time we don’t even get it. I don’t get it. It’s the complete opposite of my nature. Yet, You have given me Your Spirit and so in the depth of my soul I know Your Truth. I know the path. And I know the cost. I’ve felt it. I’ve experienced it. The longer I walk on Your path, the more I see how much the world doesn’t understand it.
51 When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. 52 And he sent messengers ahead of him, who went and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make preparations for him. 53 But the people did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. 54 And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them?”55 But he turned and rebuked them. Luke 9:51-55
You fixed Your eyes on Jerusalem, Jesus. And I, too, will keep my eyes fixed there. Because Jerusalem meant death in the eyes of the world, but it means glory to You. Jerusalem is Your Majesty revealed. It’s where Heaven and earth become one. It is Your city. It is Your Kingdom. It is the place where Your promise to the world is fulfilled.
Sometimes it becomes hard to understand that Your eyes are fixed on the prize for us when we think You don’t see our needs or our pain. Like the Samaritan village that rejected you, or the disciples who pondered which one of them was greatest, we look at You and say in our hearts, “What have you done for me?” Your disciples were ready to destroy that village! They didn’t even know that they were being hypocrites. They weren’t being like children, ready to accept Your will and Your plan without an explanation. They could only see the rejection.
A child doesn’t question your intentions toward them, or Your intentions toward anyone. They just see Your face, accept Your love, and find the peace and joy that You offer. But, Lord, it’s really hard to put reason and logic of the world behind. Living in this world hurts! From the moment of our birth we are moving toward death. Our lives become filled with obligation and work and a chorus of demands that tries to drown out Your peace.
46 An argument arose among them as to which of them was the greatest.47 But Jesus, knowing the reasoning of their hearts, took a child and put him by his side 48 and said to them, “Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. For he who is least among you all is the one who is great.” Luke 9:46-48
Lord, the one who is least among us, is the one who stops focusing on the praise of men or the world. The one whose eyes are focused on You and Your Kingdom first is the one who finds peace. So, Lord, help me to keep my face set toward Jerusalem. Your majesty is revealed there. And I will trust Your plan!
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33
And when his disciples asked him what this parable meant, 10 he said, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of God, but for others they are in parables, so that ‘seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand.’ Luke 8:9-10
You explain things so clearly to anyone who wants to understand. I love that about You, God. The ability to learn and understand the mysteries and wisdom that come from You are found in the humility to put aside my own thinking and reason to be taught by You. That was the problem with the Pharisees. Those lovers of the Law were really lovers of themselves and the percieved piety they recieved from the obedience to your statutes. But they were missing the point entirely! If anyone hears your law and only obeys it to impress or feel better about themselves they are not catching the heart of what the Law has brought.
Paul talked about the Law making clear to us the Truth of who You are and are inability to have fellowship with You. He taught that inevitibly Your perfect law made clear our failing annd pronounced death upon us. But it was our sin that brought death, not the law itself. So acting out the Law, if it didn’t teach the person to know and understand Your heart and Your desire to bring forgiveness of sin, gained nothing from obedience to that law. Without the faith to know that You are salvation, not the Law, a person is lost forever. They will never understand, will they? They’ll just be stuck in the death of their sin, instead of the life that can only be offered by You.
7 What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.”8 But sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, produced in me all kinds of covetousness. For apart from the law, sin lies dead. 9 I was once alive apart from the law, but when the commandment came, sin came alive and I died. 10 The very commandment that promised life proved to be death to me. 11 For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me. 12 So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good.
13 Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. 14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. Romans 7:7-25
But being poor in spirit and humble in knowledge, gives me the right to learn and understand Your greatest mysteries because I’m willing to let You teach me. As I recognize the deeper and deeper need for You to be my advocate in all aspects of my life, I find You willing and ready to teach me. And that’s how You used parables. You showed people that if they were willing to be taught, instead of just having it all spelled out for them to figure out on their own, they could inherit a deep and meaningful fellowship with You that can be found in no other way.
But if a person is stubborn, and refuses to be taught, but only wants to lift up their own wisdom and understanding, then they can never learn even the simplest of lessons from You. And of course the simplest lesson of all is that You came down to earth as a man to be our bridge between yourself and us. And anyone willing to follow You at all cost will find the richness of Your love, Your forgiveness, and Your eternal life. So, that’s why the disciples had been given the ability to learn the secrets of the Kingdom of God. Because they were humble enough to give up trying to find You or serve You on their own.
You love that, don’t You?! You just love people to acknowledge that they need You and want Your help! It’s not complicated. It was never supposed to be complicated. Help me to be poor in spirit like that! Teach me to be humble and to learn from You. Don’t ever let me rely on my own reason above Your own. Help me to know the depth and mystery of Your Love.
And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said: “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.
Luke 6:20
For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, 44 for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. 45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:43-45
If my mouth is praising You in all things and if my actions are full of mercy and love for everyone around me, my fruit is good! It is abundant and full! It is reassurance, dearest Jesus, that the abundance of my heart is your love and mercy. I don’t need to worry about what people think of me, or even what others expect of me. All I need to do is focus on You, Your Word in my heart, and the offerings of Your love and mercy that flow through me. I know I’m not going to get it right all the time. But I see You working, God. I see Your hand gently guiding me and faithfully teaching me to “bend the bow of bronze”.
He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. Psalm 18:34
I found myself praying this morning very deeply for someone who had hurt me. Lord, I know that’s nothing new for You, but I know I don’t do it enough. My logic and understanding of your Word tell me to forgive and show mercy to those who hurt me, but in the moment, I’m often so hurt that I spend all of my energy focused on just speaking love and speaking from the abundance of my heart. But prayer needs to be the further fruit of those words. Thank you for reminding me of that this morning.
Lord, help me to be more focused on You so that I continue to produce good fruit. Let every thought be held captive by Your love, Your grace, Your Spirit. That is where my treasure is. That is where my story leads. That is all my heart desires. Let me honor You and serve You in all things. It may look strange to the World. It may even look strange to Your children. But I know that Your Spirit will use me. Your Spirit will guide me. And Your Power will seap out of me to the world around me, without me even saying a word. That’s just who You are. And You are in me so I can be confident in that.
And all the crowd sought to touch him, for power came out from him and healed them all. Luke 6:19
Use me God. Though I am a woman of unclean lips, You have made me clean and Your power is made perfect in my weakness.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
I am having a hard time processing things, God. It’s been brought to my attention that I’ve not had humility in regard to all that has happened over the last few weeks. Lord, my heart is to lift You up. My heart is to acknowledge your sovereignty amidst the trials and tribulations of this world. You said to us that in this world we would have trouble. And Lord, we have had our share of trouble. But is it trouble to magnify your name when my world is collapsing around me? Is it trouble to focus on your redemptive power and your reconciling love when I’m being tossed to and fro by the seas of chaos that dominate this world?
Jesus, my friend, I’m struggling with all of this. I’ve been told I need to repent, that I need to reflect on how I let this all happen. I’ve been told that there must be holes in our defenses that allowed this attack to happen.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. Psalm 139:1-4
So, how did this happen God? I know that I haven’t been a perfect parent, God. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve set a poor example at times. But, Lord, when all of this happened, when the world was a tumult of accusations and insults from the enemy, I saw Your glorious hand at work. I saw your mighty arm stretched out over me as a shield. I saw the real result of my parenting in my children. Not in their failures, Father, but in their victory through You.
Lord, I just want to lift up your name. I want to show the world that you are faithful even when we are faithless.
if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself. 2 Timothy 2:13
But Lord, was I faithless? Lord, you came in my weakness! Shouldn’t that be what I lift up to the world? Lord, was my weakness a failure? Have I been lying to myself to think that I did nothing wrong? Is it a lie to acknowledge to myself and to others that you are at work even though I’m not perfect? Am I supposed to pick apart and second guess my parenting because this all has happened? I don’t know, God.
I will continue to read and follow Your Word. I will continue to work through my issues in Christian counseling to set my eyes on You and what you are doing, instead of on my failures. I will continue to confess and reach out for help from my community of Christian friends when I need help. I don’t know that there’s anything more I can do or should do. I know you hear me, God. And I know your plans for me are good. I will trust you.
In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. Psalm 18:6
I will trust You, God. You have heard me and Your plans for me are good. I will trust You.
Trust is a gift from you, God. Zechariah and Mary both received unbelievable messages from the angel Gabriel about giving birth by a miraculous act of God. Both received the fulfilled blessing that had been promised to them. But only Mary trusted the promise. Zechariah doubted the promise and suffered the personal consequences for it.
In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah,of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 6 And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. 7 But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years. Luke 1:5-7
Your word says that Zechariah and his wife were both righteous before you and “walked blamelessly in all the commandments”. Yet, because of his doubting, he was silenced. This silencing kept him from sharing in the blessing that he had been given, but it didn’t stop the blessing.
So often I’m ready to doubt your promises, God. I get so used to calling them promises that I forget that they really are promises and you are faithful to fulfill them! Help me to trust you, God. Help me not to doubt the blessings that you are sending to me. I think Zechariah doubted because Elizabeth was barren. Instead of remembering that you fulfilled your promise to bring a child to a barren woman with Abraham and Sarah, he was stuck in the current circumstance of Elizabeth’s inability to conceive.
By no means should he have been putting his faith in Elizabeth’s body! But instead he should have trusted in your power! He was a man who knew you! And yet his fear and the sorrow of his current circumstances kept him from trusting You. He was well versed in the knowledge of your faithfulness and yet the familiarity of his personal troubles kept him from fully trusting in the message that he had been given.
And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” Luke 1:28
How favored indeed was Mary! Her childlike faith and trust in Your message were evident in her from the start. Her circumstances were simple and humble. She was favored by God, because she didn’t put her trust in her humble circumstances. Sure, she questioned Gabriel when he said she was favored, but when he told her what that favor was going to give her, she recognized her place as Your servant. If you wanted to call her “favored” that was good enough for her. So she trusted you.
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” Luke 1:38
Lord, I am highly favored by you. I know this because of what you have done for me. You gave me your Son as a ransom for my life. And you gave me your Spirit as a deposit of your promises to be fulfilled in me. Lord, let me trust you. Let me walk in the favor you have pronounced on me. Let me know Your promises are true and walk in that truth instead of the turmoil of my corrupted circumstances.
Oh, Jesus! My love! Help me trust You so that I can share with the world the blessings You provide instead of being silenced by the doubt in my own heart.
Jesus, thank you for revealing yourself to the World through your resurrection! You truly are alive just as you said you would be! I’m so thankful for your life, Lord! I know that it means I have life. You have utterly defeated the world, sin and death. They no longer have power. All authority has been given to You! And you have used that authority to empower us with Your Spirit and give us authority as well. We share in your rulership! How wonderful!
We are so broken, so foolish, so full of failure and yet you still chose to become like us, in the form of a man, with all the human flaws and failings at peak potential in your own body, but you overcame it all. Your resurrection proves it! The tomb is empty because you are alive.
Lord, thank you for teaching us all about who you are through the scriptures. Thank you that you walk with us and patiently show us the revelation of your identity through the prophets of the old testament so that we can fully consume and understand who you are and what you have done for us. It is incredible, God.
And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself. Luke 24:25-27
I worship you, Jesus! I worship you and love you for what you have done!
Disobedience brought death into the world. You’ve always told us that. From the very beginning you told us that if we listened to You and trusted that Your plans for us were full of good things, that we would be with you forever and never know death. All we ever had to do was trust you. But we got tricked into thinking we couldn’t trust you, didn’t we? And it brought us nothing but fear. Lord, you never wanted us to be afraid of you. It was only after we had been shown what disobedience looked and felt like in the Garden that we became afraid.
8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” Genesis 3:8-11
I don’t know why we’ve always tried to make it so complicated. You’ve kept it simple from the beginning God. From the time of Adam and Eve, you showed us that we had brought death to ourselves and to the world. When Adam and Eve became aware of their nakedness, they tried to cover themselves with leaves, but you took animals, killed them, and gave the skins to them to cover themselves. You showed them in an action that the knowledge of their nakedness as shameful to them brought to them death. Only death could cover it.
And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them. Genesis 3:21
With Moses things were no different. You met him on the mountain. You told him that you were trustworthy and that if he trusted you Moses could lead all the people into trusting Him in freedom. You gave him some rules to show him how righteous and good and fair you are, and how breaking those rules would only bring death. You showed him and he believed you.
And then you showed the people how to remember your promises and how to remember you are trustworthy. You gave them the plans for the tabernacle. And every inch of the tabernacle declared your promise that you are trustworthy and that your plans for people were to be clothed for “glory and for beauty” (Exodus 28:2). You laid out your grand design for humanity with the designs of the tabernacle, completed with mercy at the center where you met face to face with mankind.
34 You shall put the mercy seat on the ark of the testimony in the Most Holy Place. Exodus 26:34
The mercy seat covered the arc of the testimony. The arc held the law, but the testimony of it was not the law, but Your desire to show us that disobedience brings death, but trusting You brings mercy. It was a physical representation of your desire for us to be together, for us to trust you. Your mercy covers the law. Your mercy has dominion over the law. Your mercy is the answer, but the sacrifice of blood is meant to show you that we understand what the knowledge of good and evil brings to us and to the world. It brings death. When we understand that we can receive your mercy.
I receive your mercy new today, Lord. Sin brings death, but you have brought mercy through your son, Jesus, who had victory over sin and death through his resurrection. I receive your mercy new today, Lord. Give me the grace to receive your mercy new each moment by your Spirit in me.
There is so much in my heart, God. So much longing, so much need. In the depth of my heart you hear me. You hear my tiny voice and rejoice over me with singing. You prepare a place for me. You lead me and hold me up. You keep me from drowning. You dry my tears. You release me from my shame and from my sorrow.
I know your justice will come quickly. Once it starts it will be quick. Your justice will come and our hearts will be glad. We will rejoice forever with you. We will never cry again. We will sing songs and be glad. We will dance. We will laugh. We will rejoice in the eternal glory of your presence and your love.
No more will there be suffering or pain.
No more will there be betrayal or heartache or weariness. Those days will pass away and be forgotten. Your justice will be swift and complete. How sad for those who don’t know you. How sad for those who will feel the brunt of your wrath because they chose to stand with the false idols.
You have made your glory and your salvation known.
But the people reject you for their own gain. They reject you for money, power, and fame. The fabricate glory and honor from the work of their own hands, and fail to see the majesty of your creation. They can’t see what you have given them and created for them. They have blinded themselves to your love because of their own desire and lust.
Lord, how free I feel to know that your love is even bigger than my own. How happy I am to know that when I looked beyond myself and my own desire for love and acceptance, I found deeper love and acceptance than I could have ever known apart from you! You offer to all people the things we long for most and yet the enemy has convinced the world that joy can come from their own power. But your joy is so much better!
Bring wisdom to your people, God.
Show the world your deep and powerful love through your redeemed children. Help the world to see that if they can look beyond themselves they can find and receive a love and mercy and peace that they could never know apart from you. Whatever they have found on their own is nothing compared to what you offer. Let them see that, God.
Let them know the full fruit of your living tree.
Bring life to the nations, God. Thank you for Jesus. Make him known!
Lord, I’ve been thinking about everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks. At one point I had both of my daughters in the hospital at the same time, and as I began to list off all the things in my brain that have happened just in the last two weeks, I started to really feel like Paul, bragging about all my afflictions to boast about my weakness. I know I’ve been talking to people a lot about my weakness lately, and all the joy you’ve given me, but God, I’m feeling the pressure, too. I’m feeling the weight of it all. My heart breaks to look at my girls and all the suffering they have endured just in the last two weeks. And I hate the enemy for what he has tried to do to our family! And here I am, boasting about all this trouble!
But whatever anyone else dares to boast of—I am speaking as a fool—I also dare to boast of that. 22 Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they offspring of Abraham? So am I. 23 Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one—I am talking like a madman—with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. 24 Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; 27 in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. 28 And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. 29 Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant? 2 Corinthians 11: 21-28
I understand why you’ve let this happen. You have shown us so much grace and blessed us beyond measure through it all. Money, friendship, joy, peace, security, you’ve given it all! Every time I tried to fall into sorrow, you would bring your peace. When the desire to wallow in self-pity wanted to erupt from every pore of my body, you brought your joy. Miracles were happening, Jesus. So many miracles in my flesh, there are too many to count, as time and time again your faithfulness endured when my heart faltered.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:23-25
Yet, here I am Lord. I’m struggling. I’m irritable. I’m tired. And I find myself asking: where’s the miracle in my flesh right now? And I realize I haven’t had solid time in the Word over the last two weeks. I’ve managed a few minutes everyday, but I’m used to a few hours. I’m used to solid, deep, meditative time. That first night in the ER I had hours and hours of reading the Psalms. It sustained me in the pit of Hell that the enemy wanted me to see with all of the human suffering happening all around me. We were in a “bed” in a hallway next to a delirious homeless man, and in the bed beyond him, another man just like him. But your Word sustained us. I read it aloud. I prayed aloud. I prayed with those men. I brought them water. I held their hands and prayed for them. I shared your love and your promises, as my suffering daughter, between bouts of her own suffering, did the same! Because your Word sustained us and comforted us. And most importantly, it empowered us. That ER became our mission field.
I’ve missed your Word, God! The distractions have seduced me away from you and I’m struggling without it. The reading of your Word is a luxury whose denial has hurt me worse than the any of the other trials I’ve had to deal with. And it amazes me that so many of your kids struggle to give you five minutes a day. Don’t they know that Jesus is the Word made flesh? That his flesh made words is your scripture? That your promises, your love, your glory are all revealed in the Word? They are content with milk, not even ready for anything else, because they are caught up in the desires and demands of their flesh alone.
But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready,3 for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? 1 Corinthians 3:1-3
And people think that a few sips of “milk” on a Sunday morning offered by some summary of someone else’s meditations on you is enough to nourish them? No wonder they’re still babies! No wonder they fall into despair over such minor things! You’ve seen all the well intentioned people asking us how we’re doing. You’ve seen the curiosity on their faces when we showed your strength, your joy, your peace! And now I know why they don’t understand. They’ve never experienced it before, God! These babies in the faith, drinking sips of milk once or twice a week, proud of how many times they’ve walked through the doors of the church in seven days time, and never once finding the rest of your Sabbath. Never once have they found the joy of your salvation. They work in the spirit of their own flesh, and fight battles with foam swords and paper shields.
I choose your sword, God. The sword of the Spirit that is the Word of God. I choose your shield. The shield of faith that extinguishes all the flaming darts of the evil one.
16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. Ephesians 6:16-20
God, I am your righteousness, made by the blood of Jesus.
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21
I will walk in that truth and in that promise. Though I float adrift a night and a day at sea, I will boast again and again in your power and strength and joy revealed in me. I will sound like a fool and boast in my weakness and boast in my suffering, and boast in my many, many struggles, Lord.
Because in my weakness you are strong.
Lord Jesus, show the world the power of your promises through my suffering. Show them what your peace looks like through me. I am so jealous for my time with you, God, and even this morning, I’ve had a million interruptions. Just now, writing about interruptions I was interrupted five times. Hashtag momlife. But God, I’m not going to stop. I’m not going to let this be another shipwreck if I can’t boast about it to the world and show them your power made perfect even in my interruptions. I choose you, God. I choose your peace. Even in the chaos.
I am so weak, God. My life is in a constant state of turmoil. My babies are beaten against the rocks. My heart breaks. My world is shaken. And yet the audacity of your love is to pour out strength, pour out peace, and pour out love. It makes no sense in human standards. It makes no sense to me. I can’t even begin to explain the logic behind it. I’ve read it and quoted it in your Word a thousand times. I’ve bragged on your power! I’ve bragged on my weakness. But you still keep showing me more and more and more. The weaker I get, the harder things get, the deeper the struggles I must endure, the stronger my peace, my joy, and my love because of you.
For when I am weak, then I am strong
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Certainly if I tried to explain it, I would fail. People would laugh and call me a fool if they didn’t see it with their own eyes. If they hadn’t watched it all play out in front of them, they would never have understood it. hey would think I am strong. They would think I was great. Because they can’t see my heart and my struggle and my peace, except by the work of my hands that you have blessed. Your light shines through the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. That describes my experience. That embodies my joy.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5
Your light shines. Your peace rules. Your power abounds in my weakness.
So, here I am boasting in weakness, because: WOW! Your power really is made perfect in weakness. I have seen it first hand. And I have felt the joy and peace that have come from your Spirit. It makes no sense, but it has happened. Why would I ever want to be anything else but weak? The power of God is beyond joy and love and peace. It is the perfect testimony of God’s Spirit within me. It has built my faith in ways I could never have dreamed of. It has created deeper bonds of love and insight and connection between us, God! I want more! Let the world see my weakness, Jesus. Let the world see how mighty you are to save!
Broken Alabaster Jar 