Testimonies of 100 Muslims Who Decided Jesus Really Was the Son of God and Not Just a Prophet Spelling left as written. Countries they live in taken out for their safety. Semi-Professional in Middle East in 40s: I like to read the Bible. Please send me one secretly. The prophecies of Jesus in Isaiah are very […]
I can really get frustrated when God doesn’t tell me His plan. Doesn’t He understand that I need to know? I’ve got things to do, people to see! How am I supposed to do that effectively if I don’t know the details of His plan?
God has a chuckle every time I talk to him like that.
The sad thing is, I know full well I don’t need to know every detail of His plans for me. I just don’t. How would I ever learn to trust Him if I always knew what was going to happen? But I’m ornery. I’m stubborn. I wanna know, dangit!
God is so gentle, though, isn’t He? He’s patient and kind. He knows how much I love Him and how much I struggle with trusting Him. So He shows me love instead of wrath.
The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, 7 keeping steadfast love for thousands,[a] forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.” Exodus 34:6-7
When I was in the hospital, God did something that I can’t stop thinking about. (To be honest, He did a lot of things I can’t stop thinking about!) He showed up, faithful and true, while I was sedated and saying all kinds of weird stuff.
I wasn’t really there in my mind. I was intubated, sedated, in terrible pain, and I definitely didn’t know the plan. But God did. And He showed up.
Over and over again, people have been telling me how the Glory of the Lord was there with me in the ICU. It overwhelmed people with love and peace and light.
I didn’t need to know all the details. I still don’t know them all. I will likely never know. Propofol and Fentanyl did a great job in handling my pain (apparently) and giving me solid amnesia for two weeks. Like John Snow, I knew nothing.
And God showed up.
That was all I had to do, too. I showed up. I showed up in delirious pain, full of drugs to keep me “comfortable”, and I demanded nothing. I was just there.
God is so good. All we have to do is show up. Really. We don’t need to know anything else. I’m learning this slowly. But God is patient with me. I will forever worship Him for His love is enduring and patient and kind.
8 And Moses quickly bowed his head toward the earth and worshiped. 9 And he said, “If now I have found favor in your sight, O Lord, please let the Lord go in the midst of us, for it is a stiff-necked people, and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for your inheritance.” Exodus 34:8-9
Stiff necked as we are, God shows up. Why should we try do anything more?
My husband and I are raising our second teenager. She’s seventeen, brilliant, funny, stubborn, and loves Jesus. I lose my patience with her more often than I’d like, but I try hard to set good boundaries, give her opportunities to accept consequences, and also encourage her to try hard things. But sometimes, because I really am sounding more and more like my mother, she will ask why she can’t do something and my answer is the dreaded, “because I said so.” It’s the bane of teenagers everywhere.
And I’m guilty.
How many times has Jesus patiently, lovingly, simply responded to me with those very words? And how many times have those words been exactly what needed? When I say to my child, “because I said so” it’s usually because I don’t have a good reason, or I don’t want to explain all the details. I just want my daughter to accept that I know best.
But I don’t know best.
Only God knows truly what is best. Only God can say, “because I said so,” and mean it with full love and honesty. He knows what’s best for me. I just don’t always want to hear it. I want what I want. I hear what I want to hear. I do what I think is best in my own eyes. And somewhere along the way, I’m no different than the people in Judges who, over time, began to do what seemed right in their own eyes.
“In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” Judges 17:6
And sadly, that’s not the only time the Bible says something like that. I’ve read it so many times and thought to myself, “those silly people. Why don’t they listen to God? Why are they so dense and so selfish?” And then I do what is right in my own eyes and never even consult God, let alone ask for His opinion.
Even though I’ve been chosen by God, and been sealed with His Spirit, I rationalize with human longings that should be giving to God.
Do I hear God? Yes, of course. Plenty of times I hear the voice of God in my heart. I hear His pleasure or His sorrow. I hear His hopes and plans for me. And still I can get so conveniently deaf to Him when I want to.
I’m so thankful that God is patient. I’m so thankful that God bears with me.
“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” Hebrews 12:6
Hear me, though, when I say this: God loves to explain things to us! He loves to tell us why. The problem is always with us. We don’t want to listen. We don’t want to ask. We don’t want to obey. And so, because He says He loves us, and He says He disciplines us out of that love, He lovingly follows through with His promises. And, though we may not believe it, it is for our good.
I wish my daughter would accept my “because I said so”. But mostly, I just want to learn to accept God’s words. If He wants to tell me, “because I said so,” I want to listen. I want to receive it. I want to trust God and I want to trust His Word.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.John 1:1-5
Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?
My doctor told me I was going to die if I didn’t have surgery. He said that the surgery was very risky and there was a high risk of complications and even death. What I heard was: it was likely death either way. Surgery was scheduled less than a week later.
The day before the surgery the pain in my abdomen became excruciating. An ambulance took me to the hospital. My daughter said she could hear me screaming from the waiting room as they wheeled me upstairs after being admitted.
I woke up two weeks later still in the ICU. There had been complications. I’d been on a ventilator for ten days. My lungs failed. My kidneys failed. I got pneumonia. And finally sepsis. From what I understand from the story, I should have died multiple times. But instead of dying I lived. Miraculously. Doctors were flabbergasted.
My poor husband. It had to be so hard to be pulled into a private room and told I likely wouldn’t survive the night multiple times. How horrible.
Our God had different plans. People began to rally prayer for me. I had people praying on six different continents! As I’ve recovered, multiple people that I didn’t even know have come to me to introduce themselves and tell me how God had laid me on their heart in a powerful way to pray.
A friend of mine at church organized prayer in her home and enlisted people to pray everywhere she went. There was a 24 hour prayer vigil. They put my picture on the screen at church and had a special prayer time for me every week. Streams of concerned people came to the hospital to pray over me and my family. A doctor even asked my husband who I was that so many people kept coming to pray for me.
Who am I? I am loved by the Creator of the Universe. I am His.
I’m recovering well now that I’ve been home for a few weeks. My wounds have been healing at a miraculous rate. The wound care doctor was blown away by the speed of healing. And my strength has returned quickly. That’s God for you. Because of God’s mercy and because of the prayers of the saints, I am alive. When, at the Lord’s leading, people come together to pray, miracles happen.
I am so thankful for the Lord’s mercy and for His hand over me. And I am humbled by all of those who prayed for me without ceasing. Thank you. I’m alive.
I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
The thought of dying is scary. Trust me, it is. No matter how much faith and trust in the Lord a person has, facing mortality is hard. Fear of pain, compassion for the family and friends left behind, all the things you’ve left undone. It is a lot to carry.
As I’ve endured this very hard season in my life. (Hard season is what I’ve been calling this tremendous trial of pain and suffering, by the way.) I have cried out to God in anger, fear, frustration, hope, trust, love. A range of emotions that varies moment to moment.
Dying is that inevitability that we all face. And it still sucks. I’ve been sick for so long, slowly bleeding to death and there have been no real answers. Medications, transfusions, iron infusions, more medications. Tests and more tests. And it all points to the same outcome.
Now I’m being faced with the opportunity to have it come to an end without my death. It would come in the form of surgery. But I’ve got a lot of risk factors that have kept it from being a viable option over the last few years. Yet, now I’m being encouraged to consider this option in the hope that it will save my life.
But I don’t want surgery. They can’t do it laparoscopically. They can’t use the robot. They will have to cut through me the old fashioned way and it’s not going to be pretty or easy to recover from. And the risks post operative are just as bleak.
The problem should be solved by surgery, however. And I’m tired of slowly bleeding to death. I just keep finding myself praying for a miracle. I know that God can heal me. And I want Him to heal me. He can stop the bleeding. He can make me whole and alive.
On top of it all, though, is this faith building journey. I have had to walk through the valley of the shadow of death in order to find the comfort in Christ’s rod and staff.
I’ve had to face all the emotional and mental torment that I have bottled up over the years. I’ve had to face the horrific PTSD that has plagued my life. I’ve had to go places in my memory (with the help of a gifted Christian therapist) that I never wanted to go back to, but were a festering poison in my mind and body.
Will I live or die? Will I be healed by God through miracle or man? Only the prayers of the saints can fuel God’s decision. Only the hope in the testimony that glorifies God’s victory can keep me moving forward.
I have to have hope. Lord, give me hope to trust You.
I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the Lord has done.
And the angel of the LORD appeared to him and said to him, “The LORD is with you, O mighty man of valor.”
I’ve had a lot of people tell me I was courageous. At times in my life I’ve felt like I was. I even have “Be strong and courageous” tattooed on my wrist. But there are times when I just want to hide away from the world and stay “safe”, afraid and in the dark, but safe.
But as I was praying this morning, the Lord reminded me of this verse from Judges. Poor Gideon was hiding in a hole, afraid of getting killed, when he had a visitation and a calling from the Lord.
Gideon felt and acted like a coward. And that’s sometimes what I do. We all do it, right? But that’s not what God sees. He doesn’t see our fear or failings. He blotted out our transgressions, our fears, our cowardice, our doubt.
Our God defined Gideon as a mighty man of valor before he’d done anything valourous at all. But if you are familiar with the story, you know what happens with Gideon. God patiently, pleasingly, persistently guides Gideon into discovering who God made him to be.
We need to remember that. We aren’t who we think we are. We were made with a purpose, to be God’s ambassadors. We were made to be strong and courageous, not by overcoming our fear and doubt, or fighting through our circumstances, but by God. God made us strong and courageous. We walk confidently into battle because of Him.
As David said so confidently, as a kid with a slingshot against the world’s definition of a “mighty man of valor”:
“You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.”
1 Samuel 17:45
I think that one of the most important things we can learn from scripture is that we don’t have to rely on ourselves. God is with us. And what a great relief that is. I don’t know about you, but I’m really done relying on myself. I put all my money on God’s power within me.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
I can trust Him.
If God is good
I can trust Him
If God is sovereign
I can trust Him
If God is faithful
I can trust Him
If God is righteous
I can trust Him
If God is Holy
I can trust Him
If God is Faithful
I can trust Him
If God is Savior
I can trust Him
If God is God
I can trust Him.
I can trust Him.